My Beautiful Angel

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.  

~Mark Twain

I experienced several interesting moments during my recent trip to the state of Washington to visit the love of my life, Sharon, and her family. I previously shared, in my blog titled "Perspective", the story of the misfortunate adventure during my return flight home. That experience left me thinking about how many people can share the same experience, at the same time, and still have a different perspective on its significance in the spectrum of life. However, before I even got on board the flight to return home, I witnessed a very random and selfless act of kindness that showed me the depth of one woman’s heart and character. Witnessing this simple kind act, not only made me think about how simple acts of kindness should be common place in our world, it also made my love for Sharon grow a little bit more.

It was cold and raining on the day my flight was departing Seattle’s Sea-Tac Airport….big surprise. Of course to us desert “rats” anything below 60 degrees requires an extra layer of clothing. On this day, though, I was not feeling well. My head was congested, I had been coughing all night and the aches of the Flu were starting to set in. So when Sharon and I got to the airport, 2 hours before my flight was scheduled to depart, we hustled to get out of the parking garage and inside to the warmth of the terminal. When we approached the Southwest Airlines ticket counter there was a very long line of anxious people winding through the maze of ropes waiting for their turn to check luggage and acquire their boarding passes. When we both saw this we looked at each other and then I glanced outside to see that there were all but 2-3 couples waiting in line at the SWA curb-side check-in. I looked at Sharon and she knew right away what I was thinking. She smiled at me as we strolled outside to wait in the much-shorter line. After about…oh 30 seconds….it was apparent that there was a reason this line was so short…it was COLD and WINDY!!...But we huddled together and waited our turn patiently. As we were standing there I noticed a woman who was struggling with a large suitcase, a smaller bag and an infant in a car-seat. Before I could even turn to Sharon and say a word, she left my side and rushed to assist this poor woman. There were plenty of other people standing within 6 feet of this woman, including several SWA employees. But this amazing woman…who was with ME(big smile)…was the first to take action. She carefully helped her around the small crowd on the curb-side, and then disappeared into the terminal assisting her the entire way. I have no idea how far she helped her; I couldn't see where she helped this woman too. All I know is when Sharon returned to my side…she hugged my arm and I gave her a smile and she simply stated “What? I have been there before; I know what that is like.”

In the past, I have told her that she is my beautiful angel. That day, I realized, she was also an angel to a stranger. A woman she will probably never see again. In that moment, I felt my love for her grow a little bit more.

Perspective

This past weekend I got to spend 3 AWESOME days in the Pacific Northwest…OK the rain and the cold did make me sick. However, I did get to spend some well needed quality time with the woman I love and her beautiful family. I also got to reconnect with a great friend John Wilkinson and his family. I flew home on Monday which is when Murphy, and his ridiculous law, decided to rear his ugly head. My flight was scheduled to arrive in Phoenix at 3:30pm, which would have given me about 2 hours to get to work and change into my work clothes before I began my shift at FedEx. About an hour into the flight one of the flight attendants came over the intercom and made the following announcement, “If there is a doctor, or anyone with medical training on board please let us know by pressing your flight attendant call button!”….never a good thing. As it turns out, one of the passengers was having a heart attack and our flight was about to be forced to make an emergency stop in Idaho. I knew at that moment I was probably not going to make it to work on time. What surprised me, though, was the selfish and shallow attitude of some of the passengers. It is interesting to me how many people can experience the same incident, at the same time, and each individual may react to it differently.

After several of the passengers responded to the request, the discussions and focus of everyone on board the airplane shifted from the idle chit-chat of a normal flight to that of concern for the passenger who was having the heart attack. After about 30 minutes the pilot announced over the intercom that we would be making an emergency landing in Idaho so that the sick passenger could get the proper medical attention. Once on the ground the medical personnel boarded the airplane and escorted the sick passenger off the plane. He was able to walk off of the plane and was eventually taken to a hospital. I was sitting there thinking about this man and his poor family, when this woman approached the front of the airplane to inquire about her connecting flight in Phoenix. Obviously, there was much going on in the front of the plane. The pilot had just announced that we would be on the ground for about 30 min for an aircraft inspection. The inspection was necessary because we had landed “overweight”. When a flight is prepared, the weight of the airplane has to be taken into consideration upon the landing. The amount of fuel is calculated not only to make sure there is enough to get the plane to its next destination, but to also make sure enough is burned off in flight so that the plane is not “overweight” upon landing. Because we landed before our scheduled destination, the plane needed to be inspected to make sure there wasn’t any damage from landing “overweight”, completely understandable and necessary. But some of the passengers just seemed to be annoyed by this further delay. One woman even looked at me and said, “Just great! I am supposed to be on a connecting flight in Phoenix and if we have any more delays I don’t see how I am going to make it!”….REALLY!? Someone just had a heart attack and that’s all you can think about?...Now, I get it. Travel can be frustrating when the airlines don’t make scheduled arrival times and lose luggage and etc., but isn’t this a situation where people could show SOME compassion? We weren’t delayed because of the airlines. ALL of our plans had been altered because of this poor man who just had a heart attack! It is just sad that people cannot accept that shit happens! My grandmother once told me, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”

A representative from the airlines came on board our flight and discussed connecting flight information with some of the more impatient passengers. They even went so far as to take a few of the passengers off the plane and get them other flights out of Idaho so they could make their connection through another airline. Well done Southwest Airlines.

Once we were back in the air, the flight attendants made the round through the cabin discussing information with those passengers who were still going to make their connecting flights once in Phoenix. All the while, I am sitting patiently in my seat, sick, back sore, thinking I would have about 20 minutes once we landed to get my luggage at baggage claim, catch a shuttle to work and change in time for work…realizing I was not going to make it to work on time…I took a deep breath and thought, once again, about the poor man and his family. I was going to be late for work, big deal. I guess, in the end, it is all about perspective.

I am not perfect

I am not perfect. I don’t strive to be so.

I have a difficult time remembering names. When I write, I don’t punctuate correctly. I abuse the tense of verbs , frequently. Often, when people quote movies, I have no idea what movie they are quoting, even though I may have seen THAT movie 20 times! I get hurt easily because I bear my heart to the world. I am quick to trust people and slow to learn not to. I forget birthdays and anniversaries. I am TERRIBLE with paperwork. I am clumsy. I have a hard time remembering names. I would rather take a nap then clean my apartment. I would rather take a nap then do the dishes. I would rather just take a nap!....I procrastinate. I don’t check my mail everyday and I am pretty sure my mailman thinks I am always on vacation. My socks are in a basket and not even close to being paired nice and neat. I NEVER fold my underwear…it’s UNDERWEAR! I wait until I HAVE to do laundry before getting started on it. I clean and dust and vacuum when it HAS to be done. I will allow dishes to pile up in the kitchen sink until there are enough to justify running the dishwasher. I have no idea what is in the food containers that have been sitting in the back of my fridge for…months? I only strive to live my life one day at a time.

I live everyday allowing the energy of love to flow through me as I interact with people in my life. I want everyone who crosses my path to feel good…no…feel better after talking with me. This is who I am, despite all of my imperfections, I like me.

It's FUN

Why do we play golf? A question that was raised recently that has stuck in my head and now needs to be addressed. So why do men AND women play golf? I can only speak for myself when I say because it is fun and anyone can play golf. Just like anyone can play other sports like basketball, baseball or soccer. Sure, just like ANY other sport, it takes time to learn the basic fundamentals. In addition to the fun, there is something magical about being the first person on the course in the early morning when the dew is still glistening on the grass and the day is new. The walk around the course in the majesty of nature is almost a spiritual experience. But, once you understand the basics, have the proper equipment, and practice, it is fun.

From the time we are young and choose to play sports, we learn valuable lessons about life. It does not matter if you start by playing baseball, basketball, football gymnastics, volleyball or soccer; we learn through sports that life isn’t fair. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. That’s it! Get use to it! Learn how to prepare. Learn how to do the little things right. The fundamentals are the keys to success. It does not matter, once again, which sport you choose. I was very lucky to have the best high school football coach in the state of Arizona as my father, but he never forced me to play sports. All he ever told me was, “If you are going to play, give it your best.” As I grew older I realized the value of his words. He was teaching me about life.

When I was younger I played baseball, basketball, football and I wrestled. If you want to argue about which sport is the toughest…I will argue until I am out of breath that it is wrestling. However, for the sake of this particular expression of my thoughts we will stick to the topic of golf. The origins of the word “golf” are some what disputed as is the origins of the game. The majority opinion is that the modern version can be traced back to Scotland. It is considered a “gentleman’s” game. Not to imply that only men can play the game, it is because it is one of the only games (I know of) where you call a foul on yourself! You have to be honest and have character to play by the rules. You will find yourself in many situations, during the course of a round of golf, where you have to make an honest call on your own play even though no one is around. There have been many famous incidents in golf where a foul was self imposed during a final round of play that had a direct impact on the outcome of the tournament. In some cases, the self imposed foul, cost the player millions of dollars in tournament winnings. Honor, character and a true sense of fair play are a very important part of the modern game of golf. More importantly, lessons we should apply to every aspect of our lives.

On the public courses around the world average men, like myself, and women, assemble to play the game of golf because it is fun. We do not play for millions of dollars in winnings; we play for fun because we understand we will never be on the PGA or LPGA tour so that takes all the pressure off! We play because every once in a while they make a great shot like the ones we see on TV. We play because every once in a while our favorite professional player makes a terrible shot. And that makes us feel a little better about our own level of play. Then there are those moments we witness a miracle shot that makes us realize we are in the presence of greatness.

Phil Mickelson is one of these players that has left us with our jaws on the ground. Not only does he entertain us with his somewhat inconsistent play, but he is an artist at making shots when they count the most. Nothing illustrates this like his 187yd(almost the length of 2 football fields!), 2nd shot, from the trees, over water, on the 13^th hole during the final round of the 2010 Masters at Augusta….enjoy.

....and BTW Phil is a Sundevil Class of 91 :-)

Have an AWESOME New Year!

"Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant with the weak and wrong. Sometime in your life, you will have been all of these." 
— Siddhārtha Gautama (Buddha)

My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts as I sit to write something on this last day of 2010. I have never been a big believer in New Years Resolutions. If anything is something worth changing in your life then why wait for a special day? The changes I made in my life several years ago were not based on any particular day on the calendar.  They were based, quite simply on my need to express my true nature. My nature is rooted in love.

I look back on this past year and ask myself if I have followed Buddha’s words of wisdom to the best of my abilities. This past year, I have lost my patience from time to time. I have said things to people I wish I could take back. I have been a little less tolerant than I should have been. However, when I look on the entire year as a whole, I feel that I have shared my love and compassion with everyone in my life. I have tried to be the best friend and father possible.

In looking forward to 2011 and beyond, I know I will express more compassion, be more tolerant, be more sympathetic and love a whole lot more than I did this past year.  Thank you to all of my friends who have made this past year an amazing time in my life. Of course, it helps to have found a beautiful woman who inspires me every day. This woman has helped me to realize that if you do give unconditional love, it will come back to you in return.

Thank you, Sharon. I love you.

I hope all of you have an AWESOME New Year, full of Love, Laughter and amazing new Memories!

all signs

When you’ve counted all the sheep

twice done the do bleep

heart pounding

head swimming

just cant seem to slumber

the reality you face

puts your dreams in their place

as you fiddle

on facebook

or twitter

like a VanWinkles maze,

while relaxing on chaise

you think

you thunk

you ponder this thought

perhaps it’s the hand

that fits like a glove

could it be?

I certainly see

all signs point to love.

Paper cuts

This past Sunday night I returned to my part time job at FedEx Express. I work at the main sort facility at Sky Harbor Airport here in Phoenix. We sort packages that come in from all parts of Arizona, and the United States, and re-direct them to destinations all over the world. This requires me to scan, stack, or move, a large volume of cardboard boxed packages into various size containers for transport by air or ground. During my shift a few nights ago, while I was filling a container with these boxes, my left hand slipped on the edge of one of the larger boxes and I got a deep paper cut on the tip of my left pinky finger. Because this happens all the time, I had several band aides already in my pocket and quickly applied two of them to the tip of my finger to prevent the blood from getting on the packages and prevent the obvious risk of infection. Within a minute, I was back to stacking, scanning and loading the boxes into the container as if nothing had happened. 

When I finally got home for the night, I removed the band aides before taking a very long hot shower. Once out of the shower, I inspected the cut and begin to think about the simple, yet obvious metaphor of my paper cut. I have had 10 operations in my life. I have been through 2 divorces. I have had many moments in my life where I felt like nothing could possibly go right and yet I kept on going. When it all boils down to the basics, almost everything that happens to us in our lives that is painful or difficult, is like a simple paper cut. The pain never lasts, it always heals and eventually we forget that painful moment it happened. There are painful moments in life that will always leave a scar. There are moments that we should not forget because the pain and the lesson we learn from them makes us stronger in some way. However, in life, the little things that sting for only a few minutes, or hours, are like paper cuts. We can’t and shouldn’t make a big deal out of them. Apply a few band aides and keep moving forward.