Thank You

Eleven years ago, I was facing the demise of my first marriage. I was frustrated and angry with myself. We tried marriage counseling as a couple, but after several sessions, it was obvious that our relationship was beyond reconciliation. We finally agreed that it would be in the best interest of our children and ourselves to separate and file for divorce. I felt like a complete failure at that point. I had no idea that in the months to come I was going to experience a revelation that would change my life forever.

I made the decision to continue to go to counseling even after we had separated. The counselor that we had been working with was very soft spoken and did a great job drawing out the root of my own personal issues, some of which had been haunting me for years. I had feelings of guilt from the fact I did not finish my degree at ASU even though I was on a full ride athletic scholarship. I felt I had let my father down because I did not reach a certain level of athletic success while playing football at ASU. It was feeling guilty that my children would not know the kind of childhood I had experienced growing up in a loving two-parent home. My parents were always a shining example to me of loyalty and the commitment of a loving marriage. They were committed to their union; they worked together through every hardship that life had thrown at them.

As continued to attend counseling sessions, I felt the weight of my guilt lifting as I transitioned from guilt to acceptance and forgiveness. By accepting my current circumstances and forgiving myself, I was able to let go of a tremendous amount of negative energy. I soon learned to view my football career as a success and felt proud of the accomplishment I had achieved despite my numerous surgeries and set backs. In changing the way I looked at my circumstances, and my past, I began to let go and move forward in my life trusting my instincts. I started to utilize a very basic principle I heard and read repeatedly through my exposure to the writing and teachings of Wayne Dyer, Thankfulness.  

I had never been much of a reader, in fact my entire college career I had relied heavily on Cliff’s Notes. When I purchased a book called “Wisdom of the Ages-60 Days to Enlightenment” I surprised myself. I found myself reading one chapter each night at bedtime. The book is a collection of quotes by many familiar historical figures like Pythagoras, Buddha, Lao-tzu, Confucius, Patanjali, Jesus of Nazareth, Epictetus, St. Francis of Assisi, Jalaluddin Rumi, Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, William Shakespeare, Kahlil Gibran, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, William Wordsworth, Henry David Thoreau, Chief Seattle, Rudyard Kipling, Robert Frost, Mother Teresa and many more. After each quote in the book, Dyer shares his own interpretation of the message. In addition, he shares his thoughts on how the lesson may apply to our lives in the world today. I followed the method by which Dyer had arrived at each conclusion for the collection of quotes. I would read one quote, and subsequent thoughts Dyer shared, each night before I went to bed. The next day, I would keep in mind the words of the previous night’s chapter as I moved through my day. I was amazed at the impact my positive thoughts had on the way I interacted with my world. This is when I began to feel a shift in my consciousness; I began to realize that if I changed my thoughts I could change my life.

During this time, I was living in a 2-bedroom apartment. I was driving a furniture delivery truck for a high-end retail furniture store in Scottsdale Arizona. Most of the furniture I owned was second-hand pieces that I acquired from customers who were throwing out their old furniture to make room for the new items we were delivering. My twin daughters were sleeping on the only new pieces of furniture I could afford to buy. I purchased a twin-size day bed with a twin-size trundle to allow more space for play in their bedroom. My television was a 13-inch color TV. Although the TV had been dropped several times, it still projected a surprisingly clear picture. My daughters and I had the very basic essentials and I was thankful for the time I was getting to spend with them. I was learning to view life from completely new perspective, one of thankfulness. My new outlook and thankfulness was creating a very positive energy in my life. My positive energy seemed to culminate one day when I woke up and the world seemed different. I remember waking up and the sunshine coming through the window felt like pure love. The sounds of the birds chirping and singing outside seemed like the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. In my body, there was an overwhelming feeling of energy flowing through me. As I sat in my bed, I had the epiphany that my life had shifted to a beautiful place. I knew I was living in spirit.

Although, in the years since that epiphany, I have experienced many up and downs including another divorce, I have remained connected to spirit. Today I wake up every morning and say two very simple but life changing words, thank you.