I had my first appontment with a dermatologist today, it was NOT what I expected. The doctor's assistant came in to the room first to ask me some questions about my history of sunlight exposure. Of course, after mentioning that I grew up in Arizona, she made several notes and then asked about the reason for my visit.
I have had a spot on my forearm that I had been concerned about. After she took a few more notes, I got a little concerned when she asked to remove ALL of my clothes and sit on the table with one of those little paper sheets...at this point I am beginning to wonder "Why do I have to be naked to inspect my forearm?" No biggie, I thought, when the doctor comes in I will show her the spot on my forearm and that will be it.
When the doctor came in she was very nice. I showed her the spot on my arm and she looked at it carefully and explained that is was most likely a scar that had continue to build tissue and I shouldn't worry about it at all..WHEW!...I am done...or not. The doctor then asked me to lay back and relax...I asked "Aren't we done?"...she smiled and said "No"...."This is your first visit to a dermatologist office and, since you have been exposed to a higher than average amount of sunlight, we are gong to make sure you don't have any other spots of concern".....O K?!?!?
She began at my feet and worked her way up. When she got to my crotch she asked if there was anything in this area I had concerns about...after biting my lip from fighting back the range of hilarious remarks I could have made I said "No". She then worked her way up the rest of the way to my head where she combed through my hair like a mother Silver back gorilla looking preening its offspring.
She then asks me to lay on my stomach. The process started over once again moving her way up from my feet. During this whole time we are having casual conversation about growing up in Arizona. As it turns out, she grew up in Phoenix and went to the UofA while I grew up in Tucson and went to ASU. The usual rivalry remarks were made back and forth.When she got to my ass I was surprised to feel her hands spreading my ass cheeks to inspect MY ASS HOLE!!!! WTF!?!? At that moment I had to speak my mind. I very calmly stated "I don't know what they teach in anatomy at the UofA, but THAT sure as HELL isn't my FOREARM!!!
The silver lining to my surprise proctology exam is that I have no skin cancer and I am very thankful the doctor had warm hands.
LOL did she laugh at least?
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